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My 1/2 Night on the Spare Bed

Posted in Point of Order by Hooch on 18 Nov 2010
I need to preface this blog by saying I wasn’t in trouble. I wasn’t kicked out of bed or told to find another place to sleep. (What women don’t know is that guys don’t mind… it really is like camping out). And here we go…
Last night, I was drained. I work in radio, so it’s not like I did any extraneous physical work. I was just tired. I had half-open eyes in the final fifteen minutes of Mythbusters, which is unfortunate because it was a solid episode.
Last week, I forgot there were new episodes of Psych on USA. I did that again last week, but managed to watch most of the show with missing just a few moments near the beginning. I watched most of the show in bed, with Lucky (you remember her, right? If not, go back a few posts) curled up between my wife’s shoulder and my armpit. As you can imagine, it wasn’t that comfortable.
So Psych ends, and I put in a movie I had been watching the night before. I fall asleep (not surprising) before the flick ends. I wake up around 1:45am to find that my beautiful wife is out of bed (getting something to drink). She comes back to bed and almost immediately, falls back to sleep. Well, I’m awake now so I put the movie back on, finish it, and watch a little tv. It’s now near 3am.
I turn off the television and in the darkness, all I hear is breathing… not mine. I hear the dog sleeping on the floor and my wife sleeping next to me. It wasn’t snoring, mind you, just breathing.
I tried masking it with music, but to no avail.
I was out of options… I did the only thing I could think of…
I grabbed my pillow and my blanket and went to the spare bedroom, which is where we keep the bed that I have had since my teen years (it’s still comfy, but according to those mattress ads, I probably need a new mattress).
I vaguely remember having a song in my head when I drifted off to sleep.
The next thing I know, my wife is waking me up and telling me to go back to bed, since she is up for work.
That’s my story. I assure you, I was in no trouble.
Peace out.
Hooch
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The Dangers of Things

Posted in Point of Order by Hooch on 17 Nov 2010

I want to preface this blog by saying I am a proud American. I love this country and have a profound respect for all those who have fought for her. I treat the American flag with dignity. I love the USA.

One of the things I love about America is the First Amendment:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

It allows me, and numerous others like me, to air our grievances in a peaceable manner. If I lived in Derka-Derkastan, I would not be able to speak about my government or its policies.

I have been a, well, a sort of non-vocal opponent (depending on who you are, you may or may not agree with the “non-vocal” part of that) of this government’s recent “leadership.” Hopefully the mid-term elections bring the hope of change we were promised two years ago (you know what I’m talking about).

I am a tax paying American citizen and I vote – so I’m pretty sure that gives me the right to complain. I’ll try to keep my thoughts concise.

A little too revealing for this airline passenger.

1) The notion of the TSA’s new “full body scan, invasive pat-down, or NO FLIGHT FOR YOU” policy is damn disturbing. I have always enjoying flying, and never found the previous security measures to be a problem. I will gladly take off my shoes, my belt, empty my pockets, take off my watch, walk through your x-ray machine, fail because I forgot to take out my phone, take out my phone, walk back through the x-ray, get the thumbs up, put my shoes back on, my belt, re-fill my pockets, grab my carry-on, and be on my way. I’ve even been randomly selected to get the more secure wanding, and had no problem with that. However, I will not be subjugated to a full-body pornographic scan, showing my ample stomach and, well, ok, my fat ass. And I will not be a part of your regulated TSA inappropriate touching/groping. One victim of your shenanigans claims that you kneaded and twisted her breasts. Well, I have man boobs, and they are sensitive. So, until these practices are removed, I will be driving. Your loss.

2) California… wtf are you thinking? You’re actually going to award illegal immigrants in-state tuition for colleges? You have their information, their addresses, etc (remember, they have to apply for college, and submit this information on their applications). Send the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) their info and let’s get them all deported. Please. And while I’m at it, can we please please PLEASE secure our borders so we can do away with all illegals? If people want to come in to this country legally, pay taxes, and pay into the system instead of just taking from it, I’m all for it.

3) And that brings me to my next and probably last topic of the night: leeches. You know the ones I’m talking about. I’m talking about the ones that feed off of the system. You who reproduce like rabbits and collect thousands of dollars from the government. You who don’t work or can’t hold a job but continue to upgrade your home theater system, car stereos, etc. The state of Illinois loses who knows how much money each month to welfare fraud or unworthy jackasses thieving from the hard working taxpayers. I could site one specific example, but I won’t this time. I recently read a story of a Maine woman who forged documents to dupe the system into thinking she was pregnant and paying her for forty months… forty. This is beyond unacceptable. Stop the free handouts. I continue to say that I would vote for the candidate who states, “If I have to pass a drug test to hold a job, you have to pass one to get a handout.” Maybe I should run for office on that platform…

4) Ok, I lied… one more thing: Bring back corporal punishment, and make it public. If people start realizing that their crimes have legitimate punishments, crime would go down.

You’re welcome.

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For the Sake of Being Entertaining

Posted in Point of Order by Hooch on 16 Nov 2010

I think it’s important for you to understand me. I’m not a guy who often has a ton of time to sit down and pour out my thoughts in blog form. I’m just too busy for that (please disregard the fact that my last two blogs came one right after the other and I stayed up until 3am to do them… hehehe “do”).

True story – I started writing this blog more than two hours ago. Like I said, I’m busy.

Anyway, I think to be an effective blogger, I need to start blogging more often (duh). So if I throw out random nonsense, be nice and comment.

If there’s something in particular you want me to write about, just to give my thoughts or opinions on, I’d be more than happy to do so. Just leave your suggestion as a comment and I’ll get to it, in my own time and in my own way.

That’s all… for now.

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